Turnabout Steele
Round Robin "Remington Steele" fanfic

Part 5

RATED NC-17!

If you don't know what this means, don't read it!

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The Characters of Remington Steele and Laura Holt don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them. This is just a bit of fun and tribute from the SteeleWatchers.

So please don't sue us!
Original content Copyright 1999-2000 SteeleWatchers and individual authors.

Permission to reprint required.

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Part 5
By Anne

Phoebe settled herself into the plush back seat of the Bentley. Remington got comfortable as his chauffeur rushed from one side to the other to shut their doors.

"This is very nice," she commented. "You like to travel in style, too."

Remington unbuttoned his jacket and turned toward her. "Like you, I prefer the best."

Kate felt her face flush and decided to change the subject. "Will it take very long to get to your mother's?"

"No, not really. Is there a reason why you ask?"

"No.it's just that, well, when I get a chance to come to London it's only for business, and to tell you the truth I've never had a chance to see many of the sites."

"So.perhaps you'd like to see some of them on the way?"

Kate nodded.

"Consider it done. These evening suppers of Mother's are usually a buffet affair, so a small delay will not keep everyone waiting for us." He leaned forward and lowered the dark partition a few inches. "Fred, please go the long way."

"Yes, sir." The partition returned to its closed position.

Remington leaned back again and smiled at Kate. "The long way?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, just a little something Fred and I have worked out. When Mother and I first arrived in London, I was completely captivated by the majesty of these buildings and monuments. They still fascinate me. So when I need some time to think, I just tell him to take the long way, and I stare out the window and meditate."

"Will you point out some of your favorites along the way?"

"I'd be happy to. Now right over there, that's Hyde Park, and the infamous Rotten Row, where William III risked life and limb in his daily strolls to St. James."

Kate turned to look out his side of the car, but her gaze was not on the scenery. She allowed herself to study his profile as he chatted amiably about the sites. The past few days had been a real challenge to her self control, as she recognized but found she could not resist Mr. Steele's charms. Somehow the benefits she thought could be hers were starting to outweigh the risks, as least as far as Remington Steele was concerned. Now that the gems were so close to being in her grasp, she found herself relaxing inside, confident that later this evening they would be hers at last. But first.

Remington turned to see if Kate was still listening. She met his gaze and nodded as if she had heard every word. The Bentley swung around a corner and Remington pointed upward.

"And this is Victoria Station." Phoebe could not see much from her side of the car, so she seized the opportunity and slid over to his side. She leaned over to look up, purposefully leaning herself against his arm ever so slightly.

Remington froze for just a moment, the warmth of her so close sending an electric thrill through him. Catching his breath, he turned to find her face very close to his. She smiled seductively.

"I take it, seeing London by night wasn't the main reason that we're taking our time getting to my mother's house," he whispered.

Kate placed a hand on his thigh. "I like what I'm seeing right here." Her other hand reached up to his nape to pull his lips to hers. Remington slid his arms around her and pulled her closer.

The Bentley took a hard right onto Oxford Street as it rounded the Marble Arch, sliding Kate closer to Remington. She pressed her advantage by leaning him against the corner of the leather. Her hand slid a little farther up his leg.

Remington could hardly comprehend what was happening. Here he was, necking (the only word that his addled mind could conjure up) with this beautiful woman in the back seat of his car. He felt like a teenager doing something forbidden and illicit. But he wasn't a kid he was a man, and Phoebe was most definitely a woman. A rather assertive woman, he thought.

She threw away all her misgivings about going to the next level with this man. Overwhelming desire, and curiosity, moved to the forefront now. Unless she was totally misreading all his signals, this feeling of emotional witchcraft had to be mutual.

Kate renewed her assault on his lips and leaned in again. Remington grasped her shoulders and pushed her away slightly, breaking their kiss.

"Phoebe," he gasped. "I don't want you to think."

Kate stopped him with a finger pressed gently to his lips. "Shhh.I don't want us to think right now, just act. I want you, Remington, I want you very much. Can you say the same?"

Remington's voice caught in his throat. He was about to ask her if she thought he was taking advantage of her, and here she was practically assaulting him. He saw glimpses of her face in the passing street lamps, her eyes fixed on him.

"Yes," he barely whispered.

"Then do two things for me." She grasped his bowtie and undid it with a jerk. "Make sure Fred doesn't get to your mother's too soon"she undid his collar button, "and please, call me Kate. All my friends do." She slid her hand under his collar and caressed his neck.

Remington breathed a little sigh of relief that he could call her by something other than a name that always summoned up images of little old ladies in their sitting rooms, crocheting.

Now that mutual permission had been established Remington wasted no time in sliding Kate's jacket off her shoulders. She shook her arms out of it and went to work on his shirt buttons. With her hair piled elegantly on her head Remington had unencumbered access to Kate's lovely neck and shoulders. His kisses moved down her cheek to her neck. He pushed aside the pearl necklace with his nose and worked his way around to her ear on the other side.

The shirt buttons taken care of, Kate slid his tuxedo jacket off his shoulders and pulled it out from behind him. She tossed it over her shoulder onto the seat, then turned back to slide his braces down his arms.

The Bentley turned right again. Remington glanced for a moment out the back window. "There went Westminster Abbey."

"Beautiful", Kate murmured as she pulled his shirt-tails out.

Remington's hands moved to the back of Kate's dress, seeking the zipper. Smoothly it slid down to her hip. Fantasy was quickly becoming reality, as he no longer had to imagine what Kate wore under her clothing. He slid the dress off her shoulders and let it fall around her waist. The moving car sent flashes of street light across her ivory skin.

Kate held his face in her hands and kissed him gently. "Time out," she said huskily.

Remington snapped back to reality. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, baffled by the unfamiliar terminology.

"American football. Time out," she breathed. Kate backed away just far enough to slide out of her dress and lay it out on the car seat. She picked up his tuxedo jacket and folded it as well.

Kate turned back to him from her task. "We have one more place to appear tonight," she said by way of explanation. "OK, time in."

Remington drank in the sight of her clad only in pastel lingerie and a strand of pearls. Before he had more than a few seconds to contemplate this apparition, Kate climbed across his knees to face him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Remington hesitated a moment, wondering just where to start, and decided on the bra. He slid his hands up her back and undid the clasp. Kate let go long enough to shake off the undergarment and toss it on the floor. Remington gently cupped her breasts in his warm hands, his eyes fixed on them, his thumbs grazing her nipples experimentally. Kate moaned aloud. Remington slid one hand up her chest and hooked two fingers under her pearls, gently pulling her toward him.

A flash of bright lights caused Kate to open her eyes for a second. "There goes Buckingham Palace," she whispered, her lips very close to his.

"Exquisite," he breathed into her mouth, kissing her. Both hands slid down her sides to her hips and then around to her buttocks as he pulled her hard against him. She ran her hands through his hair, her tongue sliding over his teeth to meet his.

Kate wedged her hands between them and fumbled with his pants button. Her fingers trembled slightly, but whether it was with anticipation or excitement, she wasn't sure.

Remington slid his hands inside her satin panties and pushed them down. With some effort she pulled one knee and then the other free, and the panties joined the bra on the floor. All that was left was the garter and stockings, but since they were not going to impede their progress, he left them where they were attractively situated.

Kate found his zipper and worked his pants open. She pressed her palm against his erection and in response he kneaded her buttocks. She worked her hands behind him and tugged down on the waistband, giving a little push upward by way of suggestion. Remington lifted his hips and Kate pushed them under her and down to his knees. She ran her hands up his thighs and fondled the silk boxers.

"Hmmm, very nice. But they've got to go," she said. Remington was too far gone in his state of ecstasy to doing anything but comply. He raised himself up again to get them off as Kate gently eased the elastic past his erection.

Somewhere on the edge of his consciousness Remington heard clock tower bells chiming. "That would be Big Ben," he moaned.

Kate grasped his erection firmly in her hand. "You're telling me," she said, almost to herself. Still holding him with one hand, she inched forward to position herself over him. Remington slid forward a bit in the seat to improve the angle. Moving both her hands to his shoulders, she slowly lowered herself down, savoring every sensation as he stretched her wide open.

Remington held her hips, the nighttime lights giving him glimpses of his member disappearing into her. He knew that he was too aroused to hold out for very long, and was cognizant enough to know that if he moved even a tiny bit inside her he would explode.

Kate began to move up and down his length, clamping him tightly with her muscles on each stroke. She reached down to her hips and grasped his hands, placing them on her breasts. He complied by teasing her nipples again, making them harder with each touch.

Kate was on the edge now, her movements becoming more vigorous as she got closer and closer. Remington's hips instinctively began to meet her rhythm. She wanted to hold on as long as she needed to, but it couldn't be for much longer.

"Oh, God, Kate, now, now!" Remington groaned, his back arching as he drove himself into her over and over. Kate held on tight, releasing with a small cry the overwhelming orgasm that was right behind his.

Spent, she collapsed against him and neither of them moved for several minutes. The movement of the car going around a corner stirred them both back to reality.

"Where are we?" Remington asked, more to himself than to Kate. He glanced out the car window. "Oh, good God!" Wrapping one arm around Kate, he lurched forward and slammed the partition button. "Fred, keep circling the block until I tell you to stop!" he said frantically.

Remington flopped back against the seat and held his head in his hands. Kate laughed lightly. "I take it we're here."

He nodded slowly. "Our only hope is that if Mother sees that something is amiss, she'll be too polite to say anything in front of strangers."

Kate felt a lump forming in her throat as she realized that a reckoning could be happening all too soon, when Abigail Steele treated Kate like the employee (and paramour) she assumed Kate was.

"We'd better get pulled back together," he said, pulling his shirt front to button it.

Kate put her hands over his to stop him for a moment. She kissed him gently. "That was truly fantastic," she said quietly.

Remington flushed and looked away with embarrassment. He had been so concerned about their imminent arrival at his mother's that he had completely forgotten the importance of savoring what had just happened. When he could look Kate in the eye again, he said, "You are one incredible woman." He reached up to her face and traced the line of her jaw with a finger, his gaze softening considerably as he studied her.

Kate had to avert her eyes from his penetrating stare or she felt like she was going to have to repeat what just happened. She captured his hand and pressed a kiss into the palm. "Thank you very much. And now, we need to try to look presentable again."

Remington grimaced at the thought of restoring his wrinkled shirt to normalcy. Perhaps if he didn't remove his jacket the rest of the evening, and stayed seated whenever possible, no one would be the wiser. Savoring the memory of how he managed to get so creased should be enough to sustain him through an evening with his family, he thought with a sheepish grin.

Kate retrieved her underwear from the floor and worked her way back into them. She spread her dress on her lap and eased back into it, then patted her hair with her hands.

Finally in reasonably good shape, Remington lowered the partition once more. "All right, old man, let's park."

Abigail Steele must have been standing at the front window watching because as soon as the Bentley parked, the front door was flung open. "There you are! Heavens, I was beginning to wonder if you'd had an accident or something. I thought I saw you go by a few minutes ago, but it must have been someone else. I was just about to call your car phone." She fluttered down the stairs and embraced Kate. "Hello again, my dear, I'm so thrilled to welcome you to my home."

Kate looked over her shoulder entreatingly, but Remington only shrugged. Abigail propelled Kate up the stairs and into the house, talking non-stop, with Remington a few steps behind. He was about to shut the front door when a familiar voice called, "Hold up, old boy, we're right behind you." Max and Deidre Steele came up the steps slowly.

Remington shook his hand. "The whole family's on hand, eh? Hello, darling," he said as he kissed Deidre's cheek.

"Well, Mother knew that we weren't going to make the reception because of Elizabeth's recital, but she insisted that we come over afterwards." He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "And you know how Mother can get." Deidre laughed knowingly.

Abigail breezed into the hallway with Kate in tow. "Maxwell, Deidre, you're here, wonderful. I just can't wait to introduce you to this dear lady Remington's been keeping from us. Laura, this is Remington's brother Maxwell and his wife Deidre. Darlings, this is Remington's new employee, Laura Holt."

"I'm very pleased to meet you both," Kate said as she shook each of their hands. She deliberately kept her body turned away from Remington to insure that she could not make eye contact with him.

Abigail took Kate's elbow and led her away again. "Laura, I'm sure you must be famished. Let's see what Margaret has prepared for tonight. She is such a wonder in the kitchen..." her voice faded as they moved to the dining room.

"Max, will you take my wrap? I'll see what they're up to. Perhaps I can give Laura a break from Mother for a moment."

"Certainly, dear. I'll be right there m'self." He turned to the hall closet, but didn't go any farther when he saw the expression on Remington's face. "Rem? You all right? You look rather ghastly."

Remington did not hear his brother. He was rooted to the spot where he stood, unable to move as his mind scrambled to process what he had just seen and heard. Had he just heard Phoebe, Kate, whatever, introduced as Laura Holt? Had he missed something? More importantly, why did Phoebe allow his mother to think she was the fictitious Miss Holt? Frankly, he was baffled.

"Rem?" Max touched his arm. "Hey, are you with me, mate?"

Remington came back to the moment and realized that Max had been talking to him. He rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He smiled weakly at Max. "Sorry, Max, what were you saying?"

"Are you all right? You look rather, well, perplexed."

"I do? Well, I have no idea why." He tried to peek around the corner to figure out where Kate and his mother had gone.

"Poor Laura, she's in Mother's clutches now. But I say, old boy, well done, well done." Max playfully punched him in the arm.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why, your Miss Holt. Quite a lovely young woman. American, hmmm?"

"Uh, yes, yes." Come on, Remington, he thought, pull yourself together and find some answers. "I'm sorry, Max, I....I just feel like I came in at the wrong reel of a movie. Something to eat?"

As they moved to the buffet table, Max began to drone on about his newest store in Fort William, but Remington heard very little of what he said. He spent the next hour trying to separate Kate from his mother, but between a tour of the house, his brother's non-stop monologue, and his sister-in-law's appraising glances at his rather rumpled appearance that kept him in his chair, he was unsuccessful.

Or was she deliberately avoiding him? It hadn't escaped him that from the moment Max and Deidre had arrived, she seemed to be constantly putting someone, or something, between them, and to good purpose.

Perhaps it was just as well, he thought, as there was no possible way that he would be able to speak to Kate in private and decipher the meaning of this embarrassing charade. Certainly not in a civilized way.

However, the longer he thought about it, the more his frustration was turning to anger. What kind of game was Kate playing? Was she stringing him along like a fool, thinking that letting everyone think she was Laura Holt was going to accomplish something? And what about what happened in the car earlier? Where did that fit in to whatever scheme she was planning?

His anger now on low simmer, Remington abruptly announced that he and Miss Holt had to leave.

"But, darling, we were all getting to know each other so well," Abigail protested.

"I'm sorry, Mother, but we have to get back to Grovesnor House now and check on things there."

Kate politely said her goodbyes, hiding her turmoil behind a frozen smile. She wasn't sure if it would be better to endure more of Abigail's endless chatter, or to leave with Remington and face the inevitable grilling that was to come once they were in the Bentley.

As the went out to the street, Abigail squeezed her hand and said, "I do so hope we'll be seeing more of you, and soon, Laura dear."

Kate hadn't the stomach to speak, but instead weakly waved goodbye to their hostess.


Max waited for Deirdre to get herself settled in the front seat before he closed her car door and got in himself.

Deirdre chuckled to herself. "I wonder what happened in there tonight."

Max glanced at her as he pulled out of the driveway. "What do you mean, Dee?"

"Why, that Miss Holt and Remington. Couldn't you see what was going on?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. She's rather charming, seems quite taken with Rem. Rather stunning dress she was wearing, too."

"Well, yes of course, but didn't you notice their state of dishabille when they came in?"

"Well, Rem didn't look his usual crisp self, but he's had a long day and I'm sure the stress of this gem business has him distracted a bit."

"Hmm-mmm. Not only that, but did you see how they were so careful not to come anywhere near each other?"

"Well, when you've been collared by Mother it can be difficult to do much of anything." Max laughed.

"Even so." Deirdre lamented Max's lack of powers of observation. Good thing he wasn't in his brother's line of work.

"I thought she was quite a lot of fun. Obviously you're reading more into this evening than I am."

Deirdre smiled at him. "Whatever happened, or didn't happen, I'm sure that if Miss Holt stays around she's going to make Remington's life very interesting."



The trip back to Grovesnor House passed in stony silence, each of them keeping as close to their respective car doors as possible.

A swirling confusion of thoughts and emotions filled Remington's head. Anger, betrayal and deceit all battled to be first on the list. But he was not going to ask Kate for an explanation. If she wanted to explain, he would wait, as long as necessary.

And yet, as hard as his anger tried to control him, he could not keep all the very pleasant moments of the past week from working their way into his thoughts.

Kate shifted uncomfortably, completely aware that this whole awkward situation was her fault. She chided herself for allowing matters to get this far. Everything had been proceeding so nicely until she had allowed her attraction to Remington to cloud her judgement. And now look where it had landed her.

Perhaps the evening would not be a total loss, though. The opportunity to obtain the Royal Lavulite was still there, had never been better. But an overwhelming sense of guilt threatened to derail her plans when she thought about how the theft of the gems would affect Remington.

Before she could continue with her master plan, she owed it to him to try to set things straight. But how much could she tell him without revealing the full extent of her plans? While her days as Phoebe Chase had been unexpectedly rewarding because of Remington, the more she revealed to him, the more likely her failure, or even possible arrest. He had been completely honest and a perfect gentleman could she be as honest?

She just could not bring herself to lie to him anymore. She was coming dangerously close to the emotional line she kept herself behind when it came to romantic entanglements. While she regretted that very soon she would have to leave London, she did not want to leave Remington with nothing but feelings of bitterness and deceit when he thought of her.

She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I realize that this entire fiasco is my fault," she said quietly. Remington did not turn to look at her when she spoke, but instead stared out the car window.

Kate sighed. "I want you to know that I am truly sorry for the incredibly awkward situation I put you in at your mother's house. Believe me, I never intended that the evening would proceed as it did."

Remington still did not respond, and Kate continued. "You see, when we were at the reception tonight your mother saw us together and assumed that I was your fictitious Miss Holt."

Remington finally turned to look at her, and she almost regretted that he had. The perplexed, hurt expression on his face made her turn away in shame.

"And you did nothing to challenge my mother's assumption?" he asked.

Kate studied her hands. "I would have, but as it turned out, she actually saved me from a confrontation with two guests I wasn't expecting to see."

"What do you mean?" Remington was all attention now.

Kate glanced at him. This was getting to be incredibly difficult. How much more could she tell him? "There were two men there tonight who I've hadbusiness dealings with. I didn't expect to see them there, and when I thought I was going to have to confront them, your mother stepped in."

"What are their names?"

Kate opened her mouth to answer when the car phone rang. She slumped back in her seat, grateful for the interruption.

"Steele hereyesLucius? Yes, what, Lucius, slow down, slow down." Kate could hear a loud, frantic voice from where she sat. "Say that again? What?! Oh, good Godyes, Lucius, calm down, we're on our way, we're on our way. Have you called the police? Ok, Ok, we'll be there in a minute. Don't touch anything!"

Remington slammed down the phone with a heavy sigh and hit the partition button with his fist. "Fred, fast as possible to Grovesnor House." The Bentley accelerated hard as Remington bowed his head over clenched hands.

"What's wrong?"

Remington did not look up. "The Royal Lavulite has been stolen."

Kate tried to hide her reaction to the news. She wanted to scream out loud that those gems should be hers, but she couldn't let him see how the theft affected her own plans. Right now she had to do her best to represent Providence, but deep down inside all she really wanted to do was try to help Remington. She placed a hand on his slumped shoulder, hoping to offer some kind of comfort. He looked up and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry this evening has become such a disaster," she said, with utmost sincerity.

Remington sighed. "Oh, it certainly wasn't all disastrous," he replied. They both smiled at the memory of the best part of the evening, and then Remington immediately looked away, blushing at his recollection of the intimate details.

"Well, it could have been worse," Kate said lightly. "It's a good thing your mother was too busy gushing over me to notice our, uh, less than polished appearance."

Remington grunted in agreement. "Hmmm, my mother." He took Kate's hand from his shoulder and kissed it. "All things considered, you made a delightful Laura Holt."



The Bentley screeched to a halt outside the hotel. Before the car had even stopped moving, Remington leapt out and ran through the hotel lobby to the ballroom. Kate did her best to keep up with him, conspicuously hindered by her evening gown and heels.

She caught up with him as he struggled past the security guards posted at the ballroom door. She hung onto his arm as he found one of the museum guards who would let them in.

Inside was utter chaos. Police officers and security guards milled around uselessly, without anyone to direct them. The brightly lit podium that had held the gems just a few hours earlier stood out like a beacon with its emptiness. As he approached it, Remington stared at it disconsolately, a grim reminder of how monumentally he had failed in keeping the gems safe. He felt his self-image, and his reputation, slipping fast. Whatever had possessed him to allow Davidson to talk him into allowing the gems to be present here?

A small hand on his arm brought him back to reality. He looked down to see Kate smiling at him encouragingly. "We'll get them back," she said softly.

He tried to smile back at her but was too preoccupied with his own failure to be very successful. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the familiar face of Henry, the museum guard. Remington hurried over to him.

"Henry! When did this happen? Where's Mr. Davidson?" Remington then noticed the blood on Henry's collar. "What happened to you? Are you all right?"

"Yes, sir, I am now. Took a blow sometime in there - never saw 'im coming."

"Where's Mr. Davidson?"

"Doctor's got him upstairs somewhere, sedated. Poor man, he's just beside himself..."

"Could you go find him, wherever he is, and tell him we're here?"

"Certainly, sir. I'm sure that will help Mr. D. recover a bit."

"Good man. We'll be right here."

"Yes, sir."

Remington returned his attention to the display podium, searching for any evidence that would lead him to the thief.

Kate's glance moved in turn from his face to the empty case, and back again. Thinking professionally she began to sort through the short list of experts she was aware of that might succeed at something so bold. She would have to let Daniel know about this as soon as possible. She thought about the opportunity that had just slipped from her grasp, the opportunity to have those jewels in her own hands, which up until a short time ago had seemed highly probable.

Emotionally, though, she could feel her own professional concerns slip into the background as she identified the look of despair on his face. She felt herself torn between her need to recover the gems and get out of London, and her desire to help this man who had succeeded in making her think progressively more unprofessional thoughts.

Their morose reverie was interrupted by a middle-aged woman with short salt-and-pepper hair, neatly dressed in a navy pants suit.

"Excuse me. Might you be Mr. Steele?"

"Yes. But you have me at a disadvantage, Miss...?"

"My card. I'm from Providence Insurance. My name is Phoebe Chase."

Remington suddenly stood ramrod straight, as if he had been struck by lightning. All thoughts of the gems' whereabouts evaporated. He gingerly took her card and studied it, buying time as his mind ran in circles.

Phoebe Chase? How could this be Phoebe Chase when the woman he knew as Phoebe was standing right behind him? Had he been played for a fool all week? Was this some kind of elaborate ruse to...

Remington snapped around to look at whom he thought was Phoebe. He instantly recognized the look that so resembled an animal frozen in place by car headlights.

Kate found that as hard as her mind worked to move her, her muscles would not respond. Logically, there was no way that she could outrun any of them, dressed as she was. She plastered a smile on her face with considerable effort, but her eyes spoke volumes to him to help her out of this.

Realizing that the whole situation was deteriorating around him, he shoved the business card at Kate and turned back to the new Phoebe Chase. He forced his most charming smile in place.

"Miss Chase, it is so reassuring to have you here."

"And this is?" Pheobe asked, turning her obsidian gaze on the woman at his side.

Remington never thought. His mouth opened and the words came out of their own volition. "May I introduce you to my associate, Laura Holt?"

END part 5

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