Sensitive Steele Redux

by Kristen McNeil

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these wonderful characters, I am only borrowing them, and I promise to return them (mine, mine, all mine he he he!)

Author's note: I didn't like the way "Sensitive Steele" ended (OK, I'm lying, I did, but I think it could have been done differently) so this is my interpretation of how Laura and Steele SHOULD have made up! (I have included the 'fight' scene with the bataka's with description for clarity)If readers wish to do so, they can skip the entire fight and read my solution to it....it will be in part two.

Part 1:
Maxine Gilroy surveyed the couples sitting in a circle as if she were a hunter stalking her prey.

"OK, who wants to be next?" She asked. When there were no immediate volunteers, she looked for the most reluctant couple. Richard Blaine sat near his wife Laura, hiding his head from view, in hopes that Maxine would not notice him. Perfect! She thought to herself. "The Blaines!"

"Hmm?" Mr. Steele's head shot up in shock at the mention of his name. She wasn't serious was she? The look in her eyes told him she was.

"Now Richard," Maxine said, stepping forward to where he and Laura sat, "somehow I get the feeling that you don't buy into the Friedlich theory that hostility is indeed the soul mate to intimacy."

"Oh to the contrary," Remington argued, his eyes wide and innocent, "I've often felt quite hostile to my lovely umm...partner here."

Maxine grinned, taking that as an agreement and thrust the foam bataka into their faces. "Then let's stop procrastinating and let's start exacerbating!"

Laura, who had remained silent until now, stood up reluctantly and moved into the circle. "I don't think..." She trailed off uncertainly.

"Now Laura," Maxine instructed handing her the bataka, "I want you to tell Richard what's going through your mind."

"OK," Laura said, taking a few experimental swings with the bataka as she spoke. She took a deep breath, "I wonder why he has so much trouble...discussing our relationship." That having been said, Laura dropped the bataka, and headed back to her place to sit down.

She was unfortunately pulled back by Maxine who apparently wasn't finished with her yet. She retrieved Laura's bataka and handed it back to her.

"Now Laura," she chastised, "you're going to have to get rid of those kid gloves. I want you to tell Richard, exactly what it is about him that is eating at your gut!"

Laura took another deep breath. She wasn't too keen on bearing her entire soul in front of a group of strangers, but to the same token, maybe Mr. Steele would listen for once.

"I don't know how he expects to advance our relationship, if he doesn't tell me how he feels."

"Well that's an excellent point," Maxine said with an agreeing nod of her head. Remington merely rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"It's also," he stated, his face an impassive stone mask, "if you'll pardon the expression, a crock."

"Do I detect a trace of annoyance here Richard?" Maxine questioned, fueling the fire a bit.

"My..." he hesitated on the next word, "wife, obviously has problems dealing with reality."

"Huh!" Laura exclaimed with extreme indignation, and an added flailing of her arms.

"And what is the reality?" Maxine asked.

"That I've been trying to advance this relationship for quite some time now."

"Do you buy into that Laura?" Maxine asked Laura, who by mere expression alone, had already answered.

"I most certainly do not," she told the group anyway, "the only advancement he's talking about is into the bedroom. I want more than a roll in the hay!"

'Give me a break!' Steele thought angrily, 'won't she ever give that up?'

"Oh so we're back to that again are we?" he asked sarcastically, "aren't you tired of these old arguments? Or is it the settings that make them different? London, Acapulco, Cannes..."

"Come on," Maxine urged, "show us how you really..."

"Shut-up, you stay out of this." He interrupted, feeling he was on a roll, "I mean you want to talk all the time, because you're afraid to do anything else!" He smiled at the point he'd made, which only managed to infuriate Laura.

How dare he insinuate that she was afraid? Angrily, she hit him on the arm with the foam weapon. "You're the one who's afraid!" She countered, "you're afraid of being pinned down, afraid of staying in the same place!" She hit him once more for emphasis.

"You! You want to have complete control that's why!" Steele replied.

"Let all that bile out, Richard," Maxine said excitedly grabbing onto his arm, "tell it like it really is!" Laura pointed the bataka at him, speaking with controlled fury, her voice steadily rising in octave.

"You feel compelled to dominate me physically, because deep down you're intimidated by any woman with half a brain!" Steele's face turned bright red, and he too raised his voice to an angry bellow.

"Half a brain, that's right! The only half you use is for thinking! What about the half for feeling? That's the part that I'm interested in!"

"The only part you're interested in, is a little lower than the brain!" She retorted, whacking him once more. It was a cheap shot and Laura knew it, but at this point her anger had seized complete control and she no longer cared about holding anything back.

"That's the way Laura." One of the wives on the side-lines encouraged.

"Give it to her Richard!" Her husband added.

Frustrated at Laura's distorted perception of him, Steele continued.

"I mean how many more tests do I have to pass? How many more tiny little trials do I have to go through, to show my commitment?"

"You don't know the meaning of the word!" Laura screamed back, amazed he had the gall to even use the 'C' word like that. Remington gave a frustrated cry and bopped her on the head with the bataka. Although it wasn't extremely hard, Laura retaliated quite painfully on his arm.

"This is marvelous!" Maxine whispered to nobody but herself.

"What are you talking about?" He cried in complete disbelief, "what do you think I've been doing? What do you think I've been going through for the past three and half years, don't you think that's a commitment?"

Laura's emotions overtook her and in order to keep from dissolving into angry, frustrated tears, she hit him once more. "A commitment needs words!"

"What about deeds?" He yelled back. She hit him again.

"What about words?" She screamed.

Suddenly Remington lost it. He was usually an icy calm man, but Laura had pushed his fury to the edge, making it impossible for him to even comprehend some of the things he was saying to her.

"You'll never be satisfied Laura, because you're living in the past! I'm not your father! I'm not the man who left your mother!"

At this the room became dead silent and all that could be heard was Laura's laboured and shallow breathing as she tried to blink the tears of hurt back from his harsh, perhaps brutally honest words.

Simultaneously they threw the batakas to the floor. In a way, it symbolized the fact that they had never been so open and honest with each other before...even if they were fighting.

"You leave my family out of this." Laura seethed, her voice dangerously calm. Unfortunately, Steele's anger hadn't subsided enough to control the volume of his voice yet.

"Why?" He bellowed, "they're the ones standing between us!"

"The only one standing between us is you!" She cried back, once again raising her voice.

"No it isn't," he returned, his voice angry and his words coming in rapid fire succession. "It's you. It's you and your bloody little inhibitions that's what it is! I mean what do I have to do to get through to you?"

"More than a wink and a tumble!"

"You are the most ridiculous woman I have ever met!" He sputtered, unable to think of a come-back.

"Well then get out of here," she ordered, not able to believe she was even saying this, "what are you waiting for?"

"That's a damn good question!" Steele replied, his fury blinding him at the moment to any reason at all why he should stay.

Laura's hurt and anger reached the boiling point at his failure to assure her that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Then go on, get out!" She cried, pointing to the door, "I was better off without you anyway!"

Remington's face went dead white upon hearing this and he felt his heart plummet to the very bottom of his chest. Staring at Laura, her face furious and flushed, he searched for any trace of regret and found none. Unsure of what to say, he lowered his voice to a fearful whisper, trying to ignore the lump growing in his throat. "You mean that don't you?"

Laura was silent. She wanted to assure him she didn't, that this whole argument had been a bad dream, but all her pent up anger and emotion, coupled with her own fierce self pride, prevented her from doing so. Maxine then stepped in, making the situation worse. "Of course she means it!"

Mr. Steele knew he couldn't handle standing there and looking into her hard, angry eyes any longer. Shaking his head, he stalked out of the room, leaving Laura standing in the middle of the circle, stunned and unable to believe what had just taken place. She jumped slightly when she felt Maxine's hand touch her shoulder. "Don't worry Laura," she assured, "they always come back."

But Laura wasn't so sure. Drawing a ragged breath and trying to force the tears back, she spoke, a controlled tremor present in her voice.

"Do they?"
****
Part 2:

Remington stalked out of the building trying to ignore the pain and anger coursing through him.

So it was true! She didn't trust him in the slightest! How could he stay with someone who didn't believe in him? Should he take Laura's advice and go?

Maybe he'd stayed too long in the first place. Overstepped his boundaries... Maybe he'd gotten too close. He'd never felt for a woman as much as he did for Laura, never been in love before. If this is what it felt like to hurt, perhaps he should get out before things got too hairy...before he began to care too much.

No. He couldn't prove her right. Leaving would just reinforce her distrust in him, and in all men thereafter. He knew leaving would hurt her deeply (much as Laura would like to deny it). He understood now, that giving up on this feeling was simply not an option. He was in this for the long haul. And if he wanted Laura to believe that, he had to as well. And he did. He was sure of it.

But first he had to remedy the hurt feelings and misinterpretations caused by that damn "Blatant Hostility" class. Fighting for Laura wouldn't be easy, but he'd always loved a challenge. And Laura was more than worth it.
****
Part 3:

Laura waited in her room that night for Mr. Steele to return from his walk.

Laura had never known there was a part of her, that could feel so bad, so guilty. They had to air out their problems, or things wouldn't get better, but steadily worse.

She sighed, and sat on the edge of the bed, flipping absent-mindedly through the various TV channels until the click of the key in the hotel door, signaled Steele's return.

"Hi," she greeted quietly, unsure of how he would react to an attempt at truce. He had seemed pretty hurt earlier. Not that she could blame him.

He nodded his recognition and went to retrieve some blankets from the closet to sleep on. Laura followed behind.

"I know you're angry, but I thought we could talk about what happened. You know, figure things out."

"Talk?" He echoed, all the while thinking, 'that is all she ever wants to do isn't it'?

"Mr. Steele I'm sorry." She told him, finally biting the bullet and saying it. She was never very good with the 'S' word. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it."

"So you weren't better off without me." He surmised. Laura shook her head.

"Life was easier though." She admitted. "Less interesting, but easier."

"How so?" He wondered. She took a deep breath. OK, Holt, hold nothing back!

"Mr. Steele, I've been hurt....in the past. After Wilson left, well....I promised myself that I would never get intimate that way with a man until I was sure of his intentions. Can't you understand that I cannot give myself to you fully until I know how you feel?"

"Laura you know how I feel." He said softly.

"Perhaps," she said noncommittally, "but I need to hear it. I need to look into your eyes when you say it, and know that you mean it with all your heart." She looked to him, her eyes shining. "I am sorry I said I was better off without you, I'm not. But I'm not sorry I told you how I feel. However inappropriately I may have worded it."

"I see." Was his disheartened reply. "So that's it then? You just don't trust me?"

"I didn't say that." She argued quietly, "you've gotten closer to me perhaps than I've allowed any other man, but it's not enough. I need to be sure you're willing to go the distance. I need to know that if we take the next step, you'll still be there in the morning."

Steele nodded, for the first time, really hearing Laura and understanding what she had been trying to tell him for so long.

"We both have ghosts in our pasts Mr. Steele," she continued, "you aren't the only one with personal issues. Maybe my father's disappearance did leave me with a certain distrust or cynical nature but it's also kept me from being hurt. I can't be with you fully until I know for sure that you feel the same way I do."

"Is it marriage you want?" He wondered. On the outside, he had always pretended that a life of wedded domesticity scared the hell out of him, and maybe at one time in his life....it had. But now...deep down inside, he realized he felt a tiny thrill at the thought of being married to Laura.

"Not marriage," she assured him, fearing he would turn tail and run, at even the mention of marriage in a positive light. "At least not for now. I've never been so scared of my own feelings." She admitted. "What I need is three simple words on your part to show me that I'm not alone." She looked up into his eyes and drew in a sharp breath. "Can you give that to me?" She asked him. Mr. Steele was silent.

He knew this was it. He had to decide. He knew he loved her, that much was no mystery, but to say it? To verbalize it? Was he ready to take that step? Could he put all his fears and his doubts aside and give to Laura what he'd never given to any woman he'd ever met? His heart?

Was he willing to lose her over fear? What would be worse, leaving his comfortable lifestyle, and becoming vulnerable, or gaining security, yet losing the only thing he'd ever really treasured? The only thing in this world worth dying for.

Laura took his hesitation as the answer she needed and tried not to let her hurt, pain and disappointment show. "I guess not." She whispered quietly. She turned from him as a tear
trickled down her cheek. The last thing she wanted now, was for him to see her cry. She simply wanted to crawl into bed and die. But he stopped her from doing so, by grabbing her by the arm, and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Laura," he whispered. She shook her head.

"Don't." She pleaded brokenly, "don't say anything. I was a fool to think you would change for me. A fool to love you the way I did."

Without a single word, Remington leaned closer and kissed her gently with everything he felt inside, leaving Laura breathless and shocked. When they pulled apart, she stared at his handsome features in wonderment and noted that his face looked decisive, and his eyes shone with bravery and a new resolve. Softly, he trailed a finger down her jaw-line and kissed her again. "If you're a fool," he whispered between kisses, "then I am too,
because no matter how hard I try to fight it, I can't help but love you Laura."

Immediately she pulled away, fully aware to the tears that slid down her face. She prayed this wasn't a dream. Prayed she hadn't imagined those words.

"Say it again." She whispered. She needed to be sure she had heard it.

"I love you." He said again, this time with no hesitancy or fear.

"I-I don't know what to say." She admitted, feeling for the first time, completely at a loss for words. She was, now just noticing the love that shone in his ice-blue eyes. The love that had always been there. How could she have missed it?

"Then don't say anything." He murmured, joining their lips together once more and guiding her towards the hotel bed, "for once Laura, let's just not talk."

Laura kissed him back without argument. She was sick of talking anyway.

THE END

*I know, I know, I'm a sap! Please send me your comments/criticisms, I would appreciate it. Just so you know, the case that they were investigating in this particular ep, was resolved later on...this was merely a fluff piece. Anyhoo, that's it I suppose. Thanx again!*

-Kristen M.

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