- More Bonds
of Steele
- Part 5
- by Jen
Time: After
Bonds. I couldn't help myself and I joined the ranks of the many.
Summary: Like I said, just another postscript to Bonds. I saw
the episode and was sitting at the computer, and was in a depressed
mood to boot. Feedback is welcome, though this isn't exactly
the epitome of talent. I'm not sure whether to add more or let
it stand on its own where you can make up the rest; you tell
me. Whether or not I finish depends on feedback.
- That morning, Harry got up when the toddler,
Dominic, and a six-year-old whom he wasn't quite sure belonged
to jumped onto his bed and tried to forcibly pull him out of
it. He pretended to resist and fall asleep on top of them, but
it wasn't really bothering him, as he'd been contemplating whether
or not to arise for a couple of hours now. He'd awoken around
four thirty, laying in his bed and staring out the window. From
his position, he could see that it was going to be a bright and
sunny day, clear skies all around. The only other visible object
was the uppermost trunk of a tree. It reminded him of Laura,
and he briefly wondered why it would do that, before quickly
calling up images of chasing her through a park and trapping
her against just such a tree. Before she'd slipped away yet again.
Closing his eyes, he'd indulged in self-pity for a little while,
tearing up his mind and heart with crude little scenarios where
somehow he ended up alone, and she was elsewhere. He ran through
all the possibilities, the men to which she'd turn now, probably
having wanted them secretly all along. Maybe she'd been with
them, every night that she spent out of his arms. Maybe…he
opened his eyes with a start, feeling slightly sick. He was being
stupid, he angrily told himself. It was all very well to try
and remove himself like that, but for one thing, Laura would
never have been dishonest with him. And for the other, there
was no point in pretending that he would never be with her again.
Or rather, that he'd willingly stay away from her. He loved her;
he'd already admitted that and there was no point in keeping
it a secret. Staying here, moping around, was only prolonging
his misery. At some point, he'd have to go back, and better to
face the music now than to do so months or years later, maybe
too late. Even if she wouldn't have him.
But…maybe he could wait a little while longer. He was still
emotionally vulnerable, and more so than ever, really. Laura's
last great tirade, combined with the splinters from all the harangues
that she'd delivered him since knowing him, had too ghostly a
resemblance to some of the ones he'd undergone as a child. She
couldn't know that, of course, as he repeatedly told himself,
but it didn't help that so many times, such shouting and anger
directed at him had presaged his own exile from whatever foster
home or orphanage he happened to be in. If things ever were straightened
out between them, then she would need to know some of those things
that really hit him hard. And, he decided, soon he would try
and straighten them out.
All of this was a bit tiresome to contemplate over and over,
so he was secretly glad when the children tackled him. "Whoops,
I'm falling asleep again, oh no!" He shut his eyes and fell
backward on the squirming six-year-old, Natalie. She shrieked
and tried to scramble out from under him. He started tickling
her, but was distracted by Dominic tugging insistently on his
arm. "What is it, old boy?" Harry asked, pulling him
onto his lap.
Dominic tried to pull him in the direction of the door. "Where
are we going?" elicited no response from him, but Nat piped
up enthusiastically as she climbed from the bedside table onto
Harry's shoulders.
"Mama Chiara says you got to go to breakfast, Harry. Can
I climb on your shoulders?" (The question was void, as she
was already there.)
"Alright, I'll come, no need to rush so. Get off so I can
put on a robe, and I'll carry you downstairs. What time is it,
anyway? Ok, ok, I'll carry you too, Dominic. If you don't pull
my arm off first."
-
- +++
-
- Breakfast in Laura's small rented room
was an affair of an entirely smaller scale. In fact, all she
did was order a muffin and some strawberries with juice, and
only the strawberries ended up getting eaten anyhow. After making
her call to the villa, she realized that, while now she had an
opportunity at least to talk, what she needed to do was figure
out what she was actually going to say. A tiny, doubtful part
of her wondered if Mr. Steele -- Harry -- even wanted her to
chase him again. What Daniel had mentioned to Harry had occurred
to her, briefly. The notion that it was easy to say…what
he said…if one left right afterwards. But she'd quickly
chastened herself for that; whatever else she knew about her
not-such-a-mystery man, she knew that it was not in his nature
to even conceive of such a plan. Which left her immediately with
one conclusion: he meant it. He loved her.
And if he said that, then he was sure of it, too. Mr. Steele
never tried to hurt her purposely, and knowing of her past relationships,
he would not have admitted it unless he was quite certain that
his feelings were not something that could dissipate with time
or argument.
The one thing she had to consider, though, was that if he did
not believe she loved him in return, she knew he would retreat
behind his protective walls and possibly never admit to caring
for her again. Or admit anything past that, anyway. Laura had
seen it happen too many times, and a lot of those times were
at least partially her fault, for not knowing when or how she
needed to respond, or simply being afraid to.
So, she thought. That leaves me with very little elbow
room today. If I want him to continue to express his feelings
for me, then he has to know I feel the same way. And he should
have realized it by now, too! Why else would I do this, chase
him so far?
She laughed, a little sadly, as she realized the meaning of her
thought: that he should know her feelings through her deeds and
not her words. Ha. What a sad irony.
Alright, then, so now he needed words as much as she had. Well,
good. Today, she decided on a sudden burst of spirit, she'd prove
it to him however he needed it. I love you, she thought
with a private grin. Whoever you are.
- End Part 5
- To Part 6
- Back Home CaseBook
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